Hello and welcome to another year, that is to say, week, of lies and more lies here at Factually Deficient! This week, we will answer a question posed by the Moste Excellente Krika, who asked:

How much friendship can a single person hold?

A wise person once observed, “Friendship is like a cake. When it’s good, it just makes you want more.” And, indeed, this is not the only similarity shared by friendship and cake. In fact, the two have so much in common as to allow us to extrapolate the answer to Krika’s question by using our understanding of what we already know about cake.

There are many different varieties of cake, but almost every cake requires flour as a base ingredient. Some cakes use as little as a quarter of a cup of flour, but more commonly, they use between one and three cups of flour. On the other extreme, some cakes will use as much as, but never more than, four cups of flour.

Because it is impossible to use any given piece of kitchen equipment more than once per recipe, many home bakers are limited in their cake options by the capacity of their available measuring cups. Although this may sadly reduce their ability to bake large and fancy cakes, this will help us to determine our variable answer.

Of course, four cups is not the total maximum of flour possible per cake, because some cakes are double-layer, or even triple-layer. There is no such thing as a cake with more than three layers, or fewer than one layer.

With this information, we can now create a formula for knowing how much friendship any given person can hold: the maximum amount is equal to the capacity (in litres or ounces) of their largest measuring cup, multiplied by three.

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Disclaimer: the above information is not correct. Please do not feel limited in your friendships or your cakes based on the information contained in this blog.