Duck Cleaning

Hello and welcome back to another week of evasions and elisions here at Factually Deficient! This week, I will answer a question forwarded to Factually Deficient’s attention by the redoubtable R0tavat0R. He asked:

Care to explain? (accompanied by a reference to the cleaning product known as “Toilet Duck”)

And in fact, R0tavat0R, yes, I would care very much to explain this important product.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that an individual in possession of a great deal of ducks must be in want of a method of cleaning these ducks. Ducks, after all, have an unfortunate tendency to seek – and find – trouble, often of the muddy and otherwise messy variety. They splash in ponds. They wade in bread. They adorn dinner tables. All of these activities have a certain degree of mess unavoidably associated with them, and a vast majority of the population owns ducks, and therefore experiences these messy misfortunes.

To rid oneself of the ducks, and thereby the mess, would be unthinkable; thus, the need persists to clean the ducks from time to time. To this end, a number of businesses have taken it upon themselves to call people up on the telephone, offering their duck-cleaning services for a small fee.

But is this fee really necessary? What few working duck owners realize is that they can clean their ducks themselves, for a much lower expense, with the use of one simple product – the Toilet Duck bottle.

At first blush, the name is strange. But I must remind my faithful readers that the word “toilet” here does not refer to bathroom facilities, but to a concept more related to “toiletries” and “eau de toilette” – that is to say, cleanliness and perfume. The product is, in essence, an eau de toilette for ducks, a product which will make your formerly soiled duck not only clean, but as sweet-smelling as if it had been freshly perfumed.


Disclaimer: this post contains lies. Factually Deficient neither endorses, nor is endorsed by, Toilet Duck or any other cleaning product.


One thought on “Duck Cleaning

Questions! Comments!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s