Ghost Writer

Hello and welcome to another week of questionable facts and dubious statements here at Factually Deficient; another month, October, filled with perversions of the truth; another twelvemonth of lies to come! This week, I will answer a question by my very own, very real father. He asked:

What is a ghostwriter?

Many people are familiar with the various types of necromancers, mediums, and psychics to be found. There are those who can raise the spirits of the dead to walk again. There are those who can peer beyond the veil, and bring back reports of what they see there. There are those who can consult the dead for hidden truths, or even act as conduits for their voices in conversations with their loved ones.

And then there are the ghost writers.

There are certain traits that make for a good ghost writer. An affinity for the occult, to be able to hear the ghostly spirits, is a given, of course. They must also, though, have no small skill at writing, the ability to craft a spectacular sentence. And they must be humble – a writer with too large an ego to share credit will never be a ghostwriter.

But what is a ghostwriter?

A ghostwriter is a very special writer of memoirs. The autobiography is popular, but it is never complete, lacking accounts of all the days or years between the writing and the writer’s death. A biography, in contrast, can span a whole life, but is dull in comparison, lacking the personal insight of the subject-matter-as-writer.

A ghostwritten book eliminates both these problems. A ghostwriter is, as indicated above, a writer with the ability to hear the ghostly spirits of other writers. One who listens to the ghosts as they relate the stories of their lives – and writes them down.

With the help of a ghostwriter, a ghost can dictate a complete autobiography – from birth to death, without missing a single moment.

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Disclaimer: the above post contains falsehoods. No ghosts are harmed in the process of ghostwriting.

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