Absolute Zero

Hello and welcome to yet another week of perjury, pretense, and prevarication, here at Factually Deficient! This week, I will answer a question posed by the faithful Tohrinha. Tohr asked:

What is absolute zero?

Many people use the phrase “absolute zero” to refer to “the coldest possible temperature.” While this mistake is understandable in colloquial use, it is also, in every way, absolutely wrong.

As those who use the Fahrenheit temperature scale should be aware, the coldest possible temperature bottoms out at about twenty. After that, well…

Numbers are cyclical. If you cycle around in one direction for long enough, eventually you’ll end up on the other extreme. This is demonstrated with the colour wheel – If you travel from red to orange and on for long enough, at some point you’ll come to purple and then red again. Likewise, when one drops down below twenty, one ends up soon at the very very highest of numbers. And in between twenty and the highest number are the numbers from zero to nineteen.

Absolute zero, just nineteen numbers down from the highest possible, is a chaotic number to be at. The goose egg is something of a mathematical misnomer; there is almost everything at absolute zero. At absolute zero, you would be blinded by the swirling lights of every colour within and without the visible spectrum. You would be deafened by the sounds, almost musical in their cacophany, vibrating at every known and unknown frequency and at volumes incomprehensible to humankind.

At absolute zero, the heat is beyond that of the core of the sun. To even imagine the heat of absolute zero is to burn up in an instant, from the inside out, the heat of the very concept to great for a mortal to bear.

Absolute zero is beautiful and terrifying. It is the essence of art, the stuff of songs. Worlds are born in its forges, and die in its passion.

_________________

Disclaimer: The above post contains erroneous information. Absolute zero is colder than indicated here.

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