Sick Day

Hello and welcome back to another week in the wonderful world of whoppers and white lies here at Factually Deficient! This week, I will answer a question posed by a certain beetle of my acquaintance. She asked:

Why do we get ill on days that make people think we’re faking cause it’s Sat or Mon?

This question comes, as my readers might notice, just before a Monday, and so you may have for yourself the ability to observe the phenomenon which makes up the answer to the question.

Illness on days adjoining weekends, long weekends, and holidays is by now a well-recognized phenomenon in its own right, but few people understand the reason behind it. The fact is, vacations are tangible objects. Most people do not realize this, because they are so thin as to appear insubstantial, and as such many believe that they are merely an abstract concept.

However, the fact remains: vacations are solid, albeit only barely so. They weigh next to nothing, and settle gossamer-like on the heads of vacationers, until they have been completely worn out. However, while a vacation is hardly noticeable when it is upon us, at the edges their solidity becomes more apparent. The front and back ends of the vacation are frequently jagged, rather than smooth, and accumulate dust particles made chiefly of bits of vacation-stuff that have fallen off the main body of it.

When one encounters these beginnings and ends, fraught as they are with particles of vacation-stuff, one is apt to inhale the dust without even realizing it. This causes the person to sneeze, and often to fall ill. It is for this reason that the beginnings and ends of vacations are the times most likely to lead to minor illness – you are breathing in the vacation particles found on the edges of the thing itself.

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Disclaimer: the above post contains inaccurate information. There is no evidence as to the weight of an average vacation.

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