The Taste of Victory

Hello and welcome back to Factually Deficient, where you are assured of reading only the highest-quality lies, vetted by experts in the art of dissembling! This week, I will answer a question asked by one @Blurred_L. This Blurred person asked:

What does victory taste like?

This is a worthwhile question, and the Factually Deficient team has treated it with all the gravity that it deserves. In order to empirically ascertain the exact flavour of victory, we sent a small team of Factually Deficient researchers to experience victory and sample it for themselves.

Their mission was successful, and thus I can expound with impunity the taste that victory holds.

Victory is, though not a rich flavour, a complex one, composed of several different parts. In fact, on many tastings, it starts tasting as nothing at all, and only on the second bite does one detect some of those components on the tongue.

The first note to arise is a sweet one – not quite sugar, but date honey perhaps, or maple syrup. Add to this, once that first has reached your tastebuds, elements of cinnamon, paprika, cocoa, and a hint of curry powder.

As one savours the victory, these flavours are joined by a note of caramel, twining around the maple syrup, and a sweet spiciness of red pepper or sweet chili – followed by just a whiff of lemon, and a touch of salt.

Despite this varied and almost incongruous combination of flavours, victory’s taste is exceedingly pleasant, and I recommend that every one of my readers try the flavour for themselves.


Disclaimer: the above post is notably false. Do not attempt to recreate the flavour described in your own kitchen.


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