Trees and Rocks

Hello and welcome to another week of statistics, also known as lies or damned lies, here at Factually Deficient! This week, I will answer a question posed to us by Tohrinha. Tohrinha asked:

Why does this tree look like a pile of rocks?

Because it is difficult for me to see the tree at which Tohrinha is pointing, I will have to answer this question in general terms, rather than in the specific.

My faithful readers may recall that we have discussed in the past hybrids between the plant and animal kingdoms. Just as there can be a cross between the prolific plant kingdom and the animal kingdom, so, too, will plants on occasion interbreed with members of the animal kingdom.

Naturally, such cross-kingdom interminglings can only take place under very specific circumstances. The rock in such a union must absolutely be an igneous rock; sedimentary rocks are too temperamental to have compatibility with a sedate plant. The plant, in turn, must be of a type accustomed to growing with very little water; most often a cactus.

These passions are nothing if not short-lived; plants and rocks were never meant to live together. And the products of such unions are often thought of as no less monstrous than those that result from the joining of animal and plant. Too verdant for the rock world to accept as their own, these half-tree, half-rock children will never be full citizens of the plant kingdom, not when their mixed heritage shows so plainly. They occupy a nebulous middle territory, confusing passersby and silently mourning their loneliness, as trees that look like rocks and rocks that look like trees.

And so, Tohrinha – and all my other readers – you know now why this tree you see looks so much like a pile of rocks. But perhaps, the next time you see it, you will show it some kindness, despite its untoward visage.


Disclaimer: the above post is entirely false. Trees and rocks can coexist.


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