The Seven People You Meet on Earth

Hello and welcome back to another week of lies without limitation here at Factually Deficient! A reminder: here at Factually Deficient, we will answer any question, big or small, provided it can be answered untruthfully. And here’s a secret: any question can be answered untruthfully! This week, I’ll answer a question posed by my friend agoraoptera. He asked:

How can there be over 200 countries if there’s only 7 people in existence?

Agoraoptera’s question looks, on the surface, like a very simple one to answer: after all, there need be no correlation between the number of countries and the number of people in them. There is no reason why there couldn’t be one hundred and ninety-three totally empty countries, and seven each with a population of one.

However, as we all know, this is not the case. Very few of the over two hundred countries in the world are totally empty. How, then, is agoraoptera’s observation possible?

Some might question his premise; here at Factually Deficient, however, we know better. Just as there are only eight musical notes and ten literary plots, it is indeed true that there are only seven people in the world.

That is, there are only seven genetically distinct people on earth. Most of our world’s population is composed of clones of those seven individuals. How often have you watched a parade pass by, feeling sure that you saw that trumpeter earlier? How often have you seen someone who looks exactly like you appear and then blend into the crowd? Many people are unaware that we are all clones on one of seven variations–but when you stop to think about it, you will realize that this is the only explanation for these and other phenomena.

Having the same genetic makeup is no guarantee of getting along–in fact, it’s often an indication to the contrary. As they say, “Opposites attract”–not sames! As such, it is of course impossible to expect a nation of clones to peacefully coexist in one land. Naturally, separate countries have emerged, to house the billions upon billions of clones who live in our world, choosing their alliances on grounds of ideology rather than genetics.

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DISCLAIMER: This blog is not a source of factual information. Studies show that there are more than seven genetically distinct humans currently alive on the planet.

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