Answering Your Own Questions

Hello and welcome to another week of profound prevarications here at Factually Deficient! It is the beginning of the week, and any suggestion that this week’s post comes a little late is clearly in error.

This week, I will address a question posed to me by my friend Pixelmage. He asked:

Why am I lying to myself? I keep thinking of questions, but then I think up the answers before I get to even actually ask it!

What Pixelmage is describing is actually a very common, if little-known, phenomenon. Individuals who find themselves mentally answering any questions that come to their mind–and as a result asking aloud far fewer questions than might be expected–are likewise experiencing the Percunctorial Effect.

The Percunctorial Effect is rooted in the way the human mind works. The human brain is actually fairly efficient, and is made sensible use of by the average human. The human ear, however, is often under-utilized. Most people only use ten percent of the capability of their ears; those who listen with the full one hundred percent end up experiencing the Percunctorial Effect.

All questions have answers. That much is known; this blog is living proof that even the more esoteric or conspiratorially-guarded of questions can be answered. What is less commonly known is that all questions, upon coming into existence, have answers that are just barely audible. The unaided ear, to the average person using only ten percent of his hearing capacity, of course cannot hear these ambient answers; such a person is forced to voice the question and hope that a kind and caring person will know the answer and oblige. However, to those who experience the Percunctorial Effect, using the full one hundred percent of their ears, the ambient answer can be heard. Thus, as soon as these people think a question, they hear the answer in the air, saving them the necessity of asking aloud.

Naturally, because people don’t realize that all questions are given to ambient audible answers, they explain away what they hear as the work of their own minds; however, I hope that this revelation of the truth has helped to demystify for Pixelmage and all others who are prone to the Percunctorial Effect exactly what is going on inside their brains–and ears–at such times.

_______________

DISCLAIMER: Not all of the facts in this blog post are true. Ten percent may be an inaccurate estimate.

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