Hello and welcome to another week of flagrant fibs here at Factually Deficient. This week, I would like to once again address a highly topical matter raised to my by my friend Jack. Jack asked:
Where did my hour go? I want it back!
Although Factually Deficient is not frequently applied to as a detective service, we always endeavour to satisfy, with the maximum number of answers for the minimum amount of truth. As Jack alludes, a number of people have experienced, last night, the unexplained loss of one hour of time, and I can only imagine that many share Jack’s sense of outrage at this apparent theft.
As everyone knows, time and space are intricately connected– hence the term “time-space continuum.” In fact, “time” and “space” are essentially the same thing, measuring the same values, the two terms denoting different areas on a four-dimentional axis.
And, as many people know, the populations of the human, animal, and plant kingdoms have been rapidly increasing over the past several years. As populations increase, they need to be assured of sufficient resources–both in terms of food, shelter, tools, and the like, and in terms of sheer room to live in. Overcrowding is an insidious problem.
To the casual observer, these statements may seem disparate, but the connection is a crucial one to answering Jack’s question. Increasing populations need space. Space, in our little livable region of the universe, is at a premium. But time is space.
So once a year, daylight comes to the rescue. We collectively sacrifice one hour of our time, and convert it into space, expanding our world a little to make a place for new arrivals. On the whole, it seems a small price to pay.
That, Jack, is where your hour went. You can have it back, I suppose– but at the cost of your elbow room.
Disclaimer: Many of the claims made in this blog post are blown out of proportion or invented entirely. Do not attempt to convert time to space without a scientific expert on hand.