Bagged for Your Convenience

Hello and welcome back this week to Factually Deficient, where you never need to wonder if the information is accurate, because it definitely isn’t!

This week I would like to answer a question posed by a Mr. Genndy Oda:

Why do people in Canada put their beverages in bags?

This is an excellent question and, once again, it was wise of you, Mr. Oda, to come to Factually Deficient for an answer, as I myself am Canadian and thus have the authority to speak for all of Canada.

To begin with, it is absolutely true that all beverages in Canada are stored, consistently, in bags. This is for a number of reasons which will be explored below:

  1. Cost
  2. Taste
  3. Safety

First, cost. In 2008, the city of Toronto instituted a five-cent fee for the use of every disposable plastic bag in the city*. Because Toronto is objectively the most important city in at least the continent, possibly the entire civilized world, the rest of Canada followed suit with this initiative.

This has two practical results in terms of the beverage industry. First of all, beverage purveyors are thus justified in charging more for their product when it is packaged in a bag, as everyone knows that the use of the bags incurs expense to the company. Thus, for a company wishing to maximize profits by raising prices, bags are attractive.

Second, despite the raised prices, bagged beverages are attractive to the consumer. Because every new bag used costs an additional fee, many Canadians prefer to buy bagged beverages, and then re-use the orange juice bag or the wine bag, once it has been drained, for carrying anything from groceries, to lunches, to important documents. Reusability is key.

The second consideration is taste. It is scientifically proven that beverages such as chocolate milk have a higher quality of positive taste attributes when drunk out of a bag as opposed to other containment choices, such as boxes. Although insufficient studies have been performed with other drinks, such as water, it is reasonable to assume that similar results would follow. Canadians, being a discerning lot, naturally only wish to drink the best– and to ensure that high quality, keep all of their beverages in bags.

The final consideration from which stems the baggedness of Canadian drinks is that of safety. There are a number of safety concerns associated with keeping beverages in any other sort of container. First of all, boxes have edges and corners. Edges and corners are sharp, and incurring injuries when attempting to pour oneself a drink can be unpleasant. Bags, on the other hand, totally lack corners, and are thus inherently safer.

As well, it is a common misconception that beverages are always liquid at room temperature/ refrigerator temperature. While this is largely true, there are some drinks which, above certain latitudes, will actively change form and attempt to escape. The damage that an escaping beverage can cause is inordinate, and should be avoided at all costs. While many brittler forms of containment will burst when exposed to the pressures exerted by an escaping liquid, a bag– with its adaptible form and fluid capacity– will merely stretch to match the liquid’s new shape, thus effectively preventing escape and property damage.

________________

Disclaimer: Some of the facts in this post are inaccurate. Some beverages in Canada may not be sold in bags.

 

*It is with the greatest regret that I inform my readers that this one statement is entirely factual.

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