The Melting Point

This morning’s Lies About Books post was not, as I am sure my faithful readers are aware, in lieu of a proper Factually Deficient post, but rather, in addition. Indeed, this evening I bring you a full complement of regularly-scheduled misinformation.

Due to the inclement weather which has of late been plaguing my part of the world, I feel Tohrinha’s question to be particularly pertinent:

Why do people shovel snow instead of letting it melt off?

Tohrinha’s question makes a rather large assumption– namely, that waiting for snow to melt is a viable option– which suggests that she is perhaps less adept at climatology than she is when it comes to rebel botany.

Simply put, it is untrue that snow, given enough heat and time, will turn into water. Snow does not melt. The basis for this absurd misconception is probably a topic for another day, but, in short, snow is a substance entirely distinct from water (and equally distinct from ice), which falls from the sky, makes a nuisance of itself, and only becomes firmer as time wears on. It is a solid at room temperature.

Knowing this, we find the answer to Tohrinha’s question to be fairly obvious: if waiting will do nothing to ease the effect of the snow, then of course it is necessary to shovel it out of our ways.

The astute reader, however, may find cause to yet question this elucidation. Where, then– this reader might ask– does the snow go when it seems to “melt” in the spring? If it continues to fall and never dissipates, why is the world not blanketed several times over by now in snow?

This is a question which once plagued the greatest minds of our world, many years ago when it seemed that we might yet face that very fate. Fearful of an eternal winter which would end his kingdom as surely, albeit bloodlessly, as the awful schism did but a few years later, the great Plant King himself turned his mind to this problem, and, in his wisdom, solved it for all of plant- and humankind.

Each spring, once the snows had stopped for the year and could safely be cleaned away, convoys were sent conveying all the gathered snow that had fallen that season to rest upon a distant planet in the solar system. This has been the system employed since that long-ago decision of the Plant King, and so it shall be, one must assume, until all the planets but this one have been covered in our discarded snow.

 

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Disclaimer: Many of the statements in this blog are untrue. The writer cannot confirm how many planets to date have been inundated with unwanted snow.

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